


Kaettekita Hitorā

by Sugarino



Category: Er Ist Eieder Da| Look Who's Back, 涼宮ハルヒ | Suzumiya Haruhi - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dark Comedy, Gen, Isekai, Multiple Crossovers, National Socialism, Nazi Germany, Nazis, Satire, Time Shenanigans, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-30 22:49:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21435985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugarino/pseuds/Sugarino
Summary: 1945, the thousand year Reich is now just a single city of Berlin. Its reign it seems at an end after a few short years. Hitler has descended into his bunker, ready to die with his city and his Reich only a few days after his birthday. Then Himmler turns himself in, offering him and his Fuhrer one last hope. Some tablet he and his men found when looking for artifacts. Written in some runes with Hitler only able to make out isekai written on it. Hitler finds him an idiot.The SOS brigade had relied on the tolerance of North High but that tolerance is at an end. Either get a teacher adviser or it will be broken up. It just so happens North High needs a German teacher and it just so happens Haruhi found an adult who will be and adviser for her club and is a native and fluent speaker of both German and Japanese. He's into ww2 cosplay but who's not willing to overlook a bit of eccentricity?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. Look Who's Back

**Author's Note:**

> Wherein I go to hell and make everyone hate me

**1945, Late April, Berlin**

Pounding. The incessant pounding. To say it was becoming dreadful was putting it lightly. What remained of what was supposed to be a thousand year Reich was now only a single city and hardly a whole one at that. Allied artillery bombardment, Soviet to be precise, had wracked city. If it wasn't that it was the street to street combat between what was left of the SS and the Wehrmacht against the invaders and in the middle of it all, deep under the ground, stood the man the world hated. Hitler was a lot of things to many people, a misunderstood artist, a pretty nice boss, or that fucker that keeps sending bombers over my nation. There were indeed many Hitler's; the hated, the loved,and the mystical though none of them imagined him deep under the ground surrounded by a bunch of pissed off Russians, Brits, and yanks. The feeling was mutual at the very least. Adolf Hitler was the Fuhrer of Germany. Hiding under the ground did not suit him, especially when his beloved Berlin was being pillaged above. A sudden shock wave then rocked the bunker, even from that depth. That was probably a big one, no doubt they were aiming for the Reich Chancellery, which meant they were getting closer. He was going to die here. He and Germany. That was okay, he would go down with his Reich. He had refused to leave his beloved city, he would stay here till the very last moments if he had too.

"Excuse me, mein fuhrer..."

Hitler was disturbed from his thoughts by a tap on the shoulder. It happened to be Goebbels, one of the few remaining loyalists who had stayed in Berlin with Hitler. The skeletal looking man never looked particularly good but the ever increasing Red Army did nothing to make him look better.

"Himmler has returned."

* * *

"What the fucking bloody hell do you mean he has returned?"

Asked a rather irritated Hitler as he followed Goebbels through the various snaking corridors of his bunker. It was hard enough to walk in this thing alone, the various personnel still moving and snaking around did not do much to make him feel better.

"I mean exactly what I said, he has returned take a look for yourself."

Goebbels replied, opening a door he had brought Hitler too. Within the room was the very man he claimed was there. The very man he thought was his second in command. The very man he had branded a traitor for what he had done.

"Mein Fuhrer it so-"

"DIE"

Himmler had begin to speak to his ex-ex-Fuhrer when said ex-ex-Fuhrer started strangling him by the throat and shaking him back and forth.

"Fuhrer please stop this."

Goebbels commanded, intervening in the strangling forcing Hitler to release Himmler allowing the four eyes to catch his breath.

"Thanks... Herr Goebbels."

He gasped out.

"You better have an explanation for yourself."

Hitler spat out at him. It wasn't hard to hear the venom in his voice. When he heard that Himmler had gone to the allies it did nothing to help the failing mental state of the leader. Seeing one of his most loyal member betray him like that.

"Fuhrer, I promise I only had the best intentions, a negotiation with the western allies to stave off the red beasts."

He was once again grabbed by the mustachioed man, one whom he had sworn loyalty to and his regime of which he was accused of betraying.

"You rat! Do you not think we can win?! Does endsiege mean nothing? Does-"

"Fuhrer for now its over."

For once there was silence. No one spoke back to Hitler. At least not usually. But not only did one of his most loyal men talk back but it was when his life was at stake and perhaps it was what was needed for the Fuhrer to hear.

"The Bolsheviks are inside our city. The Reich is occupied. It is over."

There was no happiness in Himmler's voice, the sadness and clarity of it clear to all. More over it was something many thought Hitler needed to hear. Hitler the man who had not taken orders from anyone since his rise as the Fuhrer, put the man down and then in another unfittng scene. He cried. He cried like a new born baby on the man who used to be one of his greatest friends, turned traitor, and now... he didn't know.

"We. We were supposed to last for a thousand years. We were going to be the brightest star this world had seen..."

His words were heavy and slow, he still collapsed atop Himmler who held him like that.

"The mistakes we made. Those we purged in the long night, our friends? The Italians? Mussolini? Dead. The Germans? Our volk? Who will protect them? The Japanese? Who knows what will happen to them?"

Goebbels had not seen the fuhrer like this since he had been informed by Jodel of the collapse of the army.

"Fuhrer... we all tried our best. We just wanted what was best for Germany. Its only over now but only for now. This war is over. Not the next one."

Hitler got back from Himmler's embraced, dusted himself off and looked at him sternly.

"I will not leave Berlin. I will remain here with the people.

Himmler's face didn't reveal anything which only made it seem a bit scarier when he spoke.

"Perhaps you don't have to."

Himmler reached into his coat and out pulled... what looked like a slab. Brown and made up of some clay and what looked to be ancient. He handed it slowly to Hitler who looked over at it gingerly. The slab had some strange marking and runes over it. Of what he could not tell. He swore some of it looked like the writing of his Japanese allies.

"W-w-what is this?"

He asked looking it over.

"My men found it while excavating. I-... I know you don't put much stock into artifacts and explorations. But this."

He tapped on it gently.

"It may help us. I know it will!"

Hitler looked at it once more. He thought he could make something else out on the slavb too written in the latin alphabet.

"I-i-isekai?"

He read silently to himself though in the room you could hear a pin drop. He looked to the slab. Then to Himmler. Then to the slab again. Then back to Himmler who was smiling stupidly. Finally he spoke.

"This is fucking BULLSHIT"

He slammed it on the ground. There was a brilliant flash, an artillery shell hit the Reich's chancellery, it shook. The three in the room. Perhaps the three most hated men in the world. Were gone.

* * *

**Some fucking time in the 21th century**, **Tokyo.**

"A dystopian world. One ruled by unrestrained capitalism. Eat. Consume. Obey. Where a small percentage of the community controls most of the population., Many unwittingly feeding these people and their pockets. Many willing to obey the status quo. A world that one cannot deny sounds like something like a cyberpunk dystopia. The fat cats content in their lives... yet one women stands to oppose them..."

"That just sounds like modern Japan and society."

"IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?"

Kyon moved his fingers to his temples and started massaging them again. Though he often did that with Haruhi. North High had gotten enough money to take a class trip to Tokyo. The trip to the capital was more a reward then anything and Kyon had a suspicion that the teachers did it for what amounts to a paid tourist vacation. He supposed he was lucky Haruhi was entertaining herself at least. Though he was a bit worried since.

"Ummm Haruhi about finding a teach for our club-"

"I already told you this Mikaru. To all of you. The SOS brigade is more then a club. If we get an adult it would only hold us down with thert... ummm stupid adult stuff."

She pointed her nose in the air.

"If any adult would join us it would have to be an exceptional one. Especially one who was something like an esper, an alien, or a time traveler."

Yes that. The SOS brigade was never an official club. They had the right members, they had a goal, they even did things... but they never had a teacher. At first the school was willing to ignore them. Itsuki and the others of course also willing to help distract them from long enough but with Haruhi being... well Haurhi it wasn't long since the school cracked down them. Especially after her stealing and bullying of other clubs. While they were willing to let them still exist they needed and adviser and its not like no teacher refused. Its more that Haruhi did. Turning down every teacher who offered to join for not fitting into her standards or saying that she would have to stop "sexually harassing" Mikuru. The air quotes were from Haruhi not him.

Still it did not bode well. No SOS brigade meant a bored Haruhi, a bored Haruhi meant the end of the world as they know it. Now he and the rest of the SOS brigade were stuck doing their hardest challenge yet; trying to find an adult at their school or an adult in general whom Haruhi would tolerate and whom would tolerate her back. IT was just where they would find such a person?

* * *

**Akihabara**

Of course. Of course she would go here. The teachers were shockingly lax. They basically let slips the dogs of war and unleash hell. Telling the students to go where they wanted. To enjoy themselves. They could have gone to Ueno Park, see the historic sites like the Emperor's palace, or even the diet building. No instead of course this women took them to the place that was a living stereotype of what foreigners thought Japan was.

"Come on slowpoke. Stop dragging your feet!"

Haruhi shouted, fist in the air as she dragged Kyon. He just sighed and went along with it. Passing many cosplayers some male, some female, some males that looked like females, and of course several maid cafes. At least Haurhi seemed to be amused and was drooling over what she saw. Probably getting future ideas. To his surprise Itsuki tapped him on his shoulder. Now at attention the other male leaned towards Kyon and whispered to him"

"Just a heads up but I think things are going to get hairy."

Kyon visibly paled. He looked over to his right to see Mikaru and Yuki who were currently distracting Haruhi. Probably so Itsuki could talk to him.

"Yes the other's note. We all felt it. There's something of a distrubance. Can't tell what it is. I can feel it as psychic energy, Mikaru swears its time travel, and Yuki can just feel it."

"You can't be serious!?"

"Sorry but this is for real. Miss Suzumiya may even get her wish for adventure."

"SHE'S GONE!"

They were interrupted by a panicked Mikaru.

"What do you mean she's gone?"

Kyon asked. Like what is she a puppy?

"S-s-she just took off. Down the street. Saying she felt something... in her jellies. Yuki took after her."

Kyon and Itsuki looked at each other and gave each other a face that could only be given between men. With a bro nod they knew it was time to get into action.

"Haruhi you damn idiot!"

Kyon muttered to himself as he ran down the street. Ducking past the various people, weaving in and out between them as Mikuru wheezed behind them shouting to wait, they made haste to Haruhi. Then there was a flash. Then a large gust of wind.

"W-w-what the hell."

Kyon muttered again as he and Itsuki braced themselves for the impact as wind just blew past them. As quickly as it came the light seemd to fade, and things were relativley normal, except for the large crowd forming up ahead.

"Do you think-"

Itsuki began before Kyon finished.

"Oh fucking hell yes she is up there!"

The two rushed even faster now. Poor Mikuru falling farther behind. A crowd of people had formed where the blast was, forming some kind of ring. Not caring about being polite, Kyon did the very unjapanese thing of pushing and shoving people out of the way, invading their personal space. Finally he and Itsuki got to the center and saw IT. Something they didn't know. Didn't know would change their lives. If he had known what would ensue he would have never gone on this field trip with Haruhi. He would have taken his chances with her destroying the entire world. Of course in the center of this ring was Haruhi. He found her on the other side with Yuki, being the only ones to walk slightly inward to the object of why people were gathering. In the middle was. Well. Kyon assumed they were cosplayers of some anime. One seemed more spidery and skeletal. A skinny thin little man in a brown suit. One seemed to be in some military outfit, all in black. Kyon wondering if it was from some military anime. Then he laid eyes on the one in the middle. That hair and comb over. That suit. That symbol on his armband. That mustache. Despite not paying too much attention in school like most high schoolers Kyon was no idiot. He knew exactly who that man was. Then he remembered about time travel.

"N-n-no. Its just a cosplayer. Akihabara is full of them. Tasteless stuff like this happens all the time. Especially in this country. Right?"

The three men looked like they were in a war zone. Covered in soot and seemed to be unconscious. Ever so slowly though, one of them started to awaken. The mustache man himself. As he slowly came too so did the man in black next to him. At this point Kyon saw that Haruhi was the only one in the crowd not paralyzed. Instead coming closer to the men in amazement, Yuki not far behind probably for protection.

He wanted to stop her. He wanted to say Haurhi no. Instead he would have to watch something that would haunt him for the rest of his life. The guy dressed as Hitler, and the one in the black military uniform slowly came too. Blinking in and out getting accustomed to the sun. Then looked to the left. They came face to face with a cute 16 year old Japanese teenager. One who stuck her right hand in the air at an unmistakable angle and shouted at the top of her lungs "HEIL THE FUHRER" in a mixture of her own native Japanese and of German. Kyon wished he could have died several times over.


	2. Look Who's a Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Hitler explains the joys of teaching the youth of the world and why education for the youth is important.

Hitler was out of it. All he remembered was a bright flash and pain. Lots of pain. What was he doing? He was trying to remember even with the throbbing in his head. He was in his bunker, Himmler, that tablet. He could remember bits and pieces of it now. Slowly he started recollecting but also coming too. He tried opening his eyes but more blinding light hit him forcing him to close them again. That light was a little different though. It was almost like the sun again. Ever so slowly trying to blink and get used to the light as he came to he was finally able to open his eyes and he found out he was correct. There was sky above. Clear blue sky. Something he had not seen in a while.

Where exactly was he? The fact his location changed made him uneasy. What exactly had happened to him. He tried to get up though his body protested in pain. It would seem that previous events that had transpired took a lot out of him. Still he had to know what was going on. Doing his best he pushed him self up though felt a little light headed. He started to come to a bit more and in front of him he could see Himmler. At least he knew he was here but would deal with him later. Still not fully aware of his surroundings he turned his head to the left. Then he nearly had a heart attack and died a second time. Standing before him was an Asian girl who couldn't have been more then a teenager. He recognized her outfit as something he swore he saw before but couldn't put his finger on it. However before more of his thoughts could swim she at least gave his some respite he did not expect to see in a while.

She stuck her arm out, clearly in the same manner as he and many of his movement and others around the world did. Then as loud as she could belted out "HEIL THE FUHRER!" The sudden shout took him aback again. Doing nothing to quell his headache. He could see to his right that Himmler was equally as confused as him. Finally deciding to size up his surroundings Hitler noticed a couple things. There were a lack of Aryans. He and Himmler seeming to be the only Europeans in the area. Everyone else was Asian, of what nationality he had yet to know. The second thing he noticed was the buildings surrounding them. Tall majestic buildings that pierced the sky, mostly in this blue-grey steel. Something he only recognized as being part of cities in America like New York. He also managed to find Goebbels behind him. Relieved that at least another familiar face was there with him.

"LIKE OH MY GOSH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITING TO MEET YOU!"

Hitler's attention was brought once again back to the Asian girl who had shouted a salute back at him. What was strange he noted was he somehow knew that what she was speaking at this point wasn't German. Whatever it was, was her native tongue but more to the point he somehow understood it. Nodding nervously he tried to speak to see if it would carry over.

"T-thank you Fraulein-"

"Suzumiya. Haruhi Suzimiya of the SOS brigade. For those who are above the cloth of normal mankind. Who are more then just normal but better. I look to find aliens, espers and time travelers aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand… be friends with them!"

Well at least he knew now that it worked both ways and that other people could understand him.

"Fuhrer!"

Himmler excitedly called to him, bringing his attention back to the de-facto head of his personal army.

"Miss Suzuymiya here is obviously one of us, ja? Just look at her. Though she is Asian her pale white skin like that of a princess. Her armband that manifests itself in the same style of ours but written in something in her native language. Her obvious talk of wishing to be ubermensch to soar above the untermensch. Her interest in the mythical like us and she mentioned an SS brigade."

Hitler wanted to correct him that he heard SOS but never got the chance as Himmler kept rambling.

"There is no doubt about it. This young lass here is obviously one of us. An Aryan of the East if I ever saw one myself!"

He was going to question all of this further when Itsuki along with Kyon finally managed to work up the courage to walk to them, telling everyone it was just elaborate cosplay and a stage show but they shroud really clear out. Even with Hitler's new found grasp of this language he had no idea what cosplay was or who these two boys were but he was happy to finally get some breathing space.

"Soooooo..."

Once again his attention was brought back to the young girl who had now grabbed his hands, clasping them in her own.

"I know this is kinda sudden but would you be willing to like..."

She giggled like a hyper over-active school girl. Though he guessed she was.

"Please join my SOS brigade!"

Those eyes. Those damnable eyes. They sparkled like the stars themselves. And that face. That pleading that happiness. He had not seen things like that since… well since he saw his own citizens. Back when he first got elected. Through the 30s when he started trying to revive the nation.

"No, no, no you don't!"

Kyon interjected. Slapping her hands away, causing the girl to pout.

"You are not picking up random cosplayers whom you just met on the street. This dude is clearly well into his like 40s."

"Well mister party pooper. You said it yourself. We needed an adviser for our club or else our club will be blown out of existence. If you have a better plan then tell me."

"We don't even know who this guy is or even if he will accept. Like you can't be considering this can you?"

At that last part Kyon turns to Hitler, asking the question to him. Goebbels taps him on the shoulder and whispers to him in German.

"Fuhrer you can't be considering this right? I mean we have no idea where we are. How we got here. These aren't even Aryans its-"

Hitler stopped him before he could go on.

"I am... still getting used to this situation but... it sounds like this young lady here and her group needs a Fuhrer. Who am I to not help those in need of my skills?"

* * *

"This can't be happening. It isn't happening."

Kyon was once again massaging his temples. He and Itsuki took the lead while Mikuru and Yuki flanked Haurhi and her little posse which now included the three men who could have been her father. She seemed to gush over them, not that it was uncommon for Japanese people to gush about foreigners when meeting them for the first time or even befriending them but their strange manner of clothing and the fact that once again they could have been the fathers of anyone in the group got them strange stares. They stuck out like a sore thumb... and this was on Akihabara. Kyon didn't want to think what it would be like in the main district of Tokyo or worse; back at home. The three men seemed to look around. Taking in all the sights the district had to offer. The maids and maid cafes, cosplayers as nekos, cosplayers in general, Kyon found it strange that they acted like they never seen cosplay when they were clearly in it. That was his story and he was running with it at least. He was not going to believe this was really Hitler and neither Itsuki, Mikuru, or Yuki could confirm if they truly were those figures from the past or not. But for now they were stuck with them to sate Haruhi's boredom as she was clearly infatuated with these figures and Itsuki himself said he and his agency had never seen the world in such... a state so stable before.

So now he was stuck with tasteless Hitler cosplays as Haruhi was not going to drop her new found "time travelers" anytime soon. He at least admired them for their commitment to the part, as Haruhi was going on and on explaining not only modern Japanese culture, but just about almost anything from the 50s onward.

"And this here is our Mikuru folder"

Kyon caught Haurhi saying in the back on her smart phone. An instant whine and blush could be heard from Mikuru as Haruhi handed the device to the three men, Hitler holding it and the other two trying to look at it as well from over his shoulders. The three of them of being of a different time, era and values, did not really know what to think of the Mikuru folder. 90% of it was her in various bunny girl outfits and the other pics? Well Mikuru was in less then flattering poses.

"Remarkable..."

Himmler muttered.

"Our Japanese allies must have picked up the slack and clearly have embraced National Socialism and Aryanism. These outfits of the bunny. Its a symbol. It symbolizes the Earth and soil of our Aryan land and blood from which we come from, fertility of motherhood, and the family. Had we known of this, done this, we could have promoted the Aryan birth rate ten fold!"

He once again turned to Haruhi and smiled.

"Once again Fräulein Suzumiya, your division of the SS is astounding with the work its done."

She blushed and stuck out her tongue cutely.

"Oh its nothing and here!"

She briefly took it back from them and showed how to operate the device, its touch screen, home function, and now the web. Something they would love.

"Here is our site!"

"This. All of this what is it?"

Goebbels now asked.

"This is our website. You guys probably never had it, but basically now anyone in the world can see our platform and what we stand for.. and see cute lil Mikuru from other there in her lewd poses."

The skeletal like man looked like he was gonna lose his shit at any moment. Hungrily paying attention to every detail of Haruhi.

"Astonishing..."

Goebbels whispered as he swiped through the phone. Trying to learn its secrets and how this thing known as the internet works.

"So what are you guys going to do now?"

Haruhi inquired to the group, Hitler was the first to speak up.

"We have no Reich, we have no party, we have no real goal, and no home. Guess the only thing to really do is to start over again. We'll be in your care Fräulein Suzumiya."

At that part Kyon actually leaned over to Itsuki and whispered to him.

"About that, how are we going to let this fly with the teachers back at school. I mean we are bringing back what I hope-is-not-but-looks-like literally Hitler."

Itsuki just smirked.

"As luck would have it our school needed a German teacher recently. Nagato is currently working out the details in order to get them initiated into the school. Our agencies are also pulling some strings as it seems related to keeping Suzumiya happy."

Kyon put his hands to his temples again.

"Great so the nightmare continues."

* * *

By the time they had walked out of the district it was time for them to return to their hotels the school had booked for the day. Yuki had been able to sorta secure their trio a job. Mister Hitler had a job interview with the school's staff who were on the field trip to see if he qualified.

"Really? Mister Hitler?"

Kyon asked ticked. Itsuki just smiled and shrugged.

"Its what he told us his name was and he was adamant on keeping it and we couldn't just exactly lie."

To be honest Kyon was just shocked the teacher's had even been chill with it at this point. The three of them actually didn't make that much of a scene when they walked back to their hotel save for a few people he caught snapping photos. No doubt that would be shared on some image forums. When Haruhi had arrived back at the hotel she made it a point to marching right up to miss Sakai Manabu, the de factor teacher in charge of the students on this trip. Though Sakai was happy or at least pretended to be happy Haruhi had found someone to be her club's adviser she had alerted her that she would have to wait until later that night as these things took time. Honestly Kyon was surprised that Itsuki's people worked that fast. Though this is also how he ended up sharing a hotel room... with Adolf Hitler.

"And this is what is called manga!"

From across the room Haruhi was still talking to this 'cosplayer' never having left his side. At the moment she was telling him about manga and anime. Showing him some various things she brought on hand. How she had those or why he didn't know.

"This art style. Its simple yet beautiful. Its profound. So many ways to draw the face, express the emotions. And you say its only accepted here?"

Haruhi looked at Hitler's drawing. He was supposedly drawing her to show off to miss Sakai when his meeting came up. Anything to make him seem more relatable you know. Kyon wasn't able to see it but wondered how it would turn out though Haruhi seemed to be enjoying herself.

"Yeah, its not accepted in a lot of art schools and such and many outside of Japan don't really like it. Though it is catching on slowly."

She went on. Hitler seemed to give a knowing nod.

"I think I can know the feeling."

From the bed Kyon tried looking up who the other two were his smart phone. Doing ironically 5 degrees of Adolf Hitler by searching up the man himself and the Nazi party on wikipedia he was able to find the matches.

"Goebbels head of the Reich's propaganda, Himmler head of the SS. So not only the leader of one of the most horrid regimes but the man who used propaganda to keep the people beleiving in it and the one who pulled the orders behind its atrocities... greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat"

He silently muttered to himself. The two men in question or at least cosplayers of them as far as Kyon was concerned were off with the girls. Mikuru and Yuki showing the two around. Really they were just trying to get a reading on them and the situation. Though Kyon really did not want to admit there was still the possibilities these were them. That Haruhi's desire for something out of the ordinary, for espers, aliens, and time travelers and especially that last one, got so strong that it warped reality and actually made time travelers come to her. His not-so-average human companions were still having a hard time identifying if that was the case or if these were really just bad cosplayers and foreigners Haruhi took a liking too. From across the room the alarm on Hurhi's phone went off suddenly. Loudly chirping throughout the room. Hitler in response screamed and drew a loaded pistol.

"WHAT THE FUCK WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!"

Kyon wasn't usually one to lose his cool or even to shut but that was too much for him. Even Haruhi probably would have been shocked if she wasn't trying to clam down Hitler.

"Easy there big guy. Its just the alarm. You have your meeting now. See see!? Its just the phone."

Sighing in relief Hitler nodded and put the pistol back into his military coat he had yet to take off.

"Forgive me Fraulein Suzumiya. Still getting used to these things. Well. Guess its that time then."

* * *

This... this was not going to work. The room was a very quiet one that the hotel staff was kind of enough to let them use briefly free of charge. In the middle of it was a table with white table cloth. One side had Miss Sakai, the other Hitler seated right across from her, with Goebbels and Himmler sitting on a meter or so behind him in chairs of their own. The SOS itself had to be there but it seemed they gave fucks all about them and were allowed to sit anywhere, leading them to be sprawled around the room. Kyon choosing to lean on the far sided wall with Itsuki, Haruhi standing proudly next to Hitler and Mikuru and Yuki close to Goebbels and Himmler respectively.

So, mister... Hitler."

Sakai began, Kyon screaming internally again as not even she was seeming to buy this.

"It is with luck we needed a foreign language teacher for German and you certainly seem to be a native."

"I give nothing but love to my fatherland Germany Frau Sakai."

"Well yes but what else can you tell me about yourself. Like any other hobbies? What did you do before getting into teaching?"

Internally Kyon prayed he didn't go into politics.

"Well I was something of an artist. Tried to get into art school but... sadly they didn't let me in."

There was a twinge of sadness in his voice he looked down. Seemed crestfallen even as sorrow crossed his face. Even Miss Sakai seemed to feel it.

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"Though Fraulein Suzumiya here has helped me get back into it a bit. I have just been introduced to this "anime" style of your country. Its remarkable what your nation has done in the art of animation. Here let me show you a few drafts I have done."

He reached into his coat and procured a piece of paper. The portrait of Haruhi he had been drawing earlier. Like he was a kid giving his mother what he drew in kindergarten. Sakai who seemed to at least be somewhat moved by what he said, took it enthusiastically, then her expression darkened.

"Oh um... its. Well its.."

"Its beautiful, ja?"

"Ummm yeah."

Kyon now curious tried to sneak a peek at it. Luckily due to how Miss Sakai was holding it he was able to at least get a look at it. It was horrible. That was vague and an understatement but it was the only thing to came to mind. Kyon knew he made the comparison to a kindergartner but that was the art level that anime drawing he assumed to be of Haruhi was. The proportions were all off. Her eyes were made way too huge and made her seem like a bug. Her body looked like that of a small child with terrible proportions. Her breasts in that drawing way too big. He was starting to see why he was kicked out of art school.

"So.. um moving on..."

Sakai tried to continue the conversation.

"An important one. Why did you get into teaching? Like what motivates you?"

Kyon sighed again wondering what dumb answer would come out of his mouth.

"The youth. The children. The youth are the future of the nation, or society. It is where the next generation comes from. To whom we pass the torch onto. I feel that many of us elders do not respect them enough. When I look to Fraulein Suzumiya here. I was reminded of that spark. That set me on my goal. Which motivates my ideology. She has that youth,that spark to drive her. Something in there. She told me she needed a leader. A Fuhrer. I have experience with being a leader, a figure for those to look up too. Miss Sakai I know this is sudden but I could not pass up her offer when I saw she had the same spark I did. Please allow me to work with these kids. I promise you even if you don't think anything of them now let them surprise you with what they can do."

Kyon was speechless, Sakai was speechless, even the others of the SOS including Haruhi who seemed she might be close to tears could not say anything. It was like the man had captivated them. Not just with the speech but with how he said it. Such passion. Just the way he announced the words. It was hard to describe but it was almost like a spell that had been cast. It was only the two behind him who seemed unfazed. Eventually Sakai collected her bearings and resumed.

"I, Um I see. I. I'm sorry. It's just when it was on such short notice and you just seemed to also, drop out of the sky our materialize into existence I didn't have high expectations. Or to see this actually go well. And for that I owe you an apology... and to you too Suzumiya."

That last line cut like a blade through the air. Haruhi was many things to many people but their adjectives of her never really went to positive territory. Especially for a teacher. The SOS seen mostly as trouble makers solely due to her.

"Sometimes we forget what its like to be young. To wish to explore. To just be adventurous. But what mister Hitler said here is right, that we sometimes forget what its like. I think we owe you an apology."

Haruhi spoke softly to Sakai.

"Does this mean?"

"Yes miss Suzumiya. You can keep the SOS brigade... and mister Hitler can be your adviser."

If Kyon did not know the 16 year old girl in front of him was god itself, he would have said god was dead. Haruhi cheered and hugged the man in the chair who simply smirked. Kyon wondered deep down if any of them wished they could have shouted seig heil then and there.


End file.
